i am in PIECES

psychologically i have become dismembered. i am being pulled apart in many directions. its like heres my unresolved grief. heres my inability to face my grief. heres my shame. heres my hopelessness. heres my hope. heres my rage. heres my joy. heres my resistance to all of it. here's my terrifying fear and that i'm falling apart and that ill never be whole again.

it feels like i'm free falling and theres nothing i can do about it.

My analyst says to me "when i was going through what you're going through there was a quote that would help me: 'the bad news is you're falling through the air, nothing to hang on to, no parachute. The good news is, there's no ground".

i dont know about you but it made me burst into hysterical laughter.

"there's no ground" ..... THERE'S NO GROUND.........