Trying to Heal

So…Sunday morning 6AM. Woke up and my body is aching. I slept kind of crooked on our bed. Went to bed angry and hurt. And so did he. Today we can’t exactly focus on just us because we’re going to San Diego two hours away to help my sister move. Side bar: she starts law school next week. And so we have these things we said we would do and cannot exactly focus on our healing. Also I’m not even sure what healing will look like. I messaged my therapist and asked if he had any recommendations for couples therapists.

Sunday Sorrows Sunday Smiles

Sundays are always fucking hard. It marks the end of freedom and the return to being told what to do in exchange for money. While I do enjoy money and buying things with money...it's also such an unfair exchange! My limited hours of life for some currency that society has decided is the only way you can get goods to sustain yourself? No. When I think about this a little too much, it angers me. I want to get to the point to which I won't have to exchange my life hours for money.

For me...tonight it ends the time I get to spend with myself, for myself. It's 7:30pm and I'm about to spend the next 2-3 hours meal prepping for the week so that I don't end up spending excessive amounts of money on food during the week. I'm having to spend more hours of my week towards going to a job that while I do enjoy the work I do with my patients I don't enjoy being locked in that damn office. I hate being told what to do in any capacity. So this Sunday I feel all of that.

I did get to spend a lovely Sunday morning and afternoon with my beloved family. It was really special. I did also get to spend some one on one time with J, my partner. It took us two hours to get to San Diego and two hours back home so we did get to have quality time together discussing the fight we had this weekend. We did some repairing by discussing what our shared goals are at this time and how we can arrive at them.